Me: Do you need me to help you move out today?
Uncle: Umm, let’s wait till the weekend, you can help us clean. Oh, wait… you’re never here on the weekends..
Me: I WILL BE HERE!
Me: Do you want to go watch Benjamin Button with us on Sunday?
Mom: Oh so you’re gonna be available?
I’m picking pieces of meat from one of the dinner plates before dinner is ready.
Mom: You better not do that in front of Phuong’s parents!
Lastly, a happy quote from Liz Lemonnnn:
LL: I’m the weird one, I’m weirder than you!
Midget: How am I weird?
LL: Oh, that came out wrong.
Midget: You came out wrong.
it’s much better in context..