(Mom had written “DJ masta” on the notepad on the coffee table)
Me: Wtf, who is DJ Masta?
Mom: Ohhh, I was watching a cooking show this afternoon, and they said to use that on sandwiches.
Me: You mean… dijon mustard?
I wish my mom would’ve made that mistake.
I hope to contribute to this website someday.
“ sno storm tonite dont get too drunk and die on the street.
That one seems pretty close to something my mom would say to me. Maybe more like — “don’t stay out too late and get raped by someone on the street.”